HELP! I don’t like what I see in the mirror!

I remember one day, looking in the mirror, staring at the reflection and before I knew it, tears were gushing down my face uncontrollably, snot trailing down to my lips.

Why?

Because the sight I saw reflecting at me repulsed me.

Again, why?

After “she” was put “The Ugliest List,” all the nasty things that had ever been said about “Her” began to come alive and manifest.

Secondary school is life changing. It’s the place where everyone wants to fit in, people change their personas to be part of the cool clique. They hound their parents to buy them the latest trainers for the fear that they may be shunned by their mates. Who wants to stand out like a sore thumb? Who wants to be different? No one.

However, this was exactly what “She” did. In an effort to mask "Her" what she considered to be a monstrosity, one extra hole in her ear became multiple piercings. She shaved half her head and designed it with intricate patterns and the other side was braided with bright extensions. Black clothes where have safe haven to camouflage those extra roles she so greatly hated.

When "She" would speak, she’d immediately shut herself up for the fear of saying something wrong and looking like dickhead. Her outgoing boisterousness was constantly surprised. Opportunities would arise and she’d convince herself to let them go. “You’re not good enough.” “You’d never last long.” These were the thought she’d feed herself daily and these formed her mind set and blocked her success.

She wanted death. On numerous occasions she would plan so intricately they different ways in which she could take her life. An overdose of pills? A slit to the wrist? A single step onto a train track?

After two failed attempts, she just gave up. She couldn’t even succeed at doing that.

Inside she was already destroyed. Making an attempt to dead her off wasn’t necessary anymore. She walked around in a daze with no ambitions or goals. Crying herself to sleep was a night time routine she has become all too familiar with.

 "She" was me.

Sounds like a really good book right? Or a feature in one those magazines where people tell their stories of how the found out their mum was sleeping with their boyfriend and now they’re both pregnant.

Well it's not. This was my reality and sadly many other people’s today.

I'm not one to go on about how to do this or do that, but honestly, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and were satisfied with what you saw?

"Oh no you don't understand!" "...I'm too fat." "...I'm too skinny." "...I'm too dark." "...Oh, why is my skin so pale?" "...Why can't I be like him or her?"

Why can't you be like you?

With over 7,617,238,700 people in this world (and counting), no one is like you. It sounds so cliche and repetitive, but when you begin to understand it, you appreciate and live by it.

Insecurity is a killer of confidence, and if you have no confidence, how will you ever succeed?

Stop. Think. Analyse. Appreciate.

You have flaws of course, but who doesn't?

Tip: Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful. Whether, you're dressed up, dressed down, or you've just woken up...

Do it.

This is one the main inspirations of Atypical Magazine.